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loving/missing somebody till it hurts

April 1, 2009

sometimes i feel life can be damn unfair.
coz its like, when you’re born, its abit like getting a lucky draw.
if you’re lucky, you’ll get big eyes.. dimples.. a nice nose.
in short.
good looks..
and with good looks. well, you’re life is pretty much comfortable unless you stupidly screw it up.

and sometimes. you could love someone.. you put your trust in him/her. you know from the bottom of your heart, she/he is the one for you.
Worst. both of you are in love with each other. you’ll keep telling each other stuff like ‘i’ll never leave you’, ‘we’re madefor each other’ and blablablabla.. and you make promises to each other, ” i promise i’ll never leave you”. blablabla..
so.
when something happens. for example, like a break up. you’ll notice that either one of you will sever all your promises. every single one.
SO.
what happen to all the. ‘i’ll never leave yous’ and everything..

and when one leaves the relationship completely. and the other. keeps hanging on.
well, being the one that is hanging on, is the worst.
firstly, you’ll start regreting all your actions. then you’ll slowly sink into depression.. you’ll start thinking stuff that isn’t true. like. she/he left you because he/she found someone better looking. well… and everything.

Well. im the one hanging on. and i still am.
and it sucks.
i love her, i really do. but, she doesn’t give a damn.
and especially now, in my situation. though we might have cleared up everything between us,
i can’t even form a conversation with her.
so i dunno how is she. if she’s attached??, and all.
So now everyday.
im just praying that she’ll come back to me. i pray that she’ll be safe.
and unwillingly, i pray that if god is not going help me/let me win her heart back, i pray that she’ll find someone better.

AMOS.
i love you, ling..

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